Sorry, No Kid Photos

Crystal's pregnant!!!

2012-01-23T18:24:00.002-06:00

I know we don't post on here very much but figure there are still some people that follow it...

We found out today that its going to be a girl!

So we've eliminated our top choices of Truman and Tebow. But Princess Beyonce White Ivy Jensen has moved to the top of the list.

We'll post pictures once she's born. Due date is June 24th 2012.

Chicken

2011-03-22T15:27:00.001-05:00

Me: "Did you have a good spring break"

A: "Yeah I guess. I had to kill 4 chickens."

Me: "Ok."

A: "And then feed their blood to my dogs. If you mix it with salt water it coagulates into a gelatinous substance."

Me: "Interesting."

A: "Yeah, any time my mom wants organic chicken she makes me kill them."

Sorry

2011-03-15T13:36:00.001-05:00

for the craft overload. I just dumped the card on my camera.

Mindy's

2011-03-15T13:33:00.000-05:00

These are horrible pictures. I might go show up at Mindy's house and demand a re-shoot. That backgroud fabric is supposed to be white, not sickly yellow.

Flowers are machine appliqued, then hand quilted around in brown thread. In between fabric flowers, other smaller flower motifs are hand quilted in white thread.

Tried to get a good picture of the back to show the hand quilting, but apparently couldn't hold still.

Jill's

2011-03-15T13:29:00.000-05:00

Custom order for a friend of a friend's sister's wedding. Finished at 4ft. by 5ft.

Cages are hand embroidered with floss. Birds are machine applique'd. Machine quilted with swirls all over, except I traced around each bird and around each cage.

Back looks lumpier in these pictures than it does in real life.

I hope Julie and Aaron like it!

Marsie's

2011-03-15T13:27:00.000-05:00

A Christmas present for my Sister-in-Law Marsie. I free motion quilted the peony onto the brown with pink and white thread, then sashed and stuffed.

Brandon's

2011-03-15T13:26:00.000-05:00

For a fellow math teacher's new baby, Brandon.

Heathen Christmas Present

2011-03-15T13:25:00.000-05:00

Coffee quilt for a work friend. Quilted with swirls.

Pieced back. I like to piece the backs to use up the rest of the fabric.

More Pictures...

2011-03-15T13:22:00.000-05:00

My photography skills need some serious help.

Practicing another quilting pattern on a doll quilt.

Front is randomly pieced.

Practiced freezer paper pieceing this flower. Good method, but I this doll quilt is pretty ugly. And my photo assistant doesn't smooth things out well.

Quilted with straight-ish line stippling. Not my best.

Practiced echo quilting. Again with the smoothing!

Front of echo quilting practice.

Hand Quilting

2011-03-15T13:16:00.000-05:00

I decided I wanted to try hand quilting instead of doing it on the machine. Iappliqued the triangles to the white by machine, then sandwiched and hand quilted the grid pattern and around the triangles in white. I love it. Totally worth the time, in my opinion.

Zachary's

2011-03-15T13:14:00.000-05:00

For my new favorite fat nephew nuggett.

Sydney's

2011-03-15T13:13:00.000-05:00

Sister Sydney's Wedding Quilt being basted on the driveway. All the pictures of it finished are on my phone.

The Mania Started

2011-03-15T13:06:00.002-05:00

When I decided to practice quilting on little quilts.

Practice with pebble quilting

For Liesel

Practice stippling for Elora (I can't find the close up of her name)

Swirly for Annika

Lesson on tension if you look closely at Annika's name

Straight, manly lines for Austin V

Back of Austin's

Hmmm...

2011-01-17T21:30:00.002-06:00

Last week I had this conversation with my co-teacher (another adult in a co-teach class for special education students--the ones that get their tests read to them, get extra time on tests, have ADHD, are emotionally disturbed, have dyslexia, etc etc.)

Him: So, E is pregnant.

Me: What?? I thought she was a lesbian.

Him: Yeah, me too.

Me: Like, hardcore lesbian.

Him: I know! When she told me I said, "What the he**!" Maybe she's confused about her sexual orientation.

Me: Maybe she didn't know what "lesbian" meant when she announced to the class that she was one.

Theme song

2011-01-06T18:33:00.002-06:00

The other day we were driving and listening to music when Rage's song "Killing in the Name" came on. Towards the end of the song Crystal looked at me and instead of asking to change the song stated "This could have been my childhood theme song"

Unfortunately I think it extended past childhood.

Operation train wife = fail.

Ahoy, Matey's!

2010-11-08T19:19:00.002-06:00

One of my students today was confused about a grade on and English paper. He made the mistake of letting a peer read the funny parts to the class:

"When the character finally mated his adventure, he looked back on all he had done."

"Being mated with the ordeal was a great feeling for the main character and his family."

What a difficult way to find that "mate" doesn't mean "to finish" in quite the way he was thinking.

I'm happy

2010-10-31T19:24:00.000-05:00

that my Dad got to do this for one of his daughters.

Not true!

2010-10-31T19:22:00.000-05:00

True Story

2010-10-04T20:05:00.002-05:00

C is a sophomore who still flirts like a 3rd grader--she pulls hair, punches, says rude things, and GIGGLES entirely too much.

On several occasions I have said, "C--that's no way to get a boyfriend."

Today, C was flirting with Z. She picked up his binder and threw it on the ground. She stole his pencil. She giggled when he got mad about the binder. She asked to go to the bathroom, and on the way out the door she pulled Z's hair.

When she knocked to get back inside the classroom, Z didn't want to let her in. I told him to just tell her that he wasn't interested.

She came back in the room, sat down, and squirted Z with a water bottle. Z yelled, quite loudly, "C! Stop it! I don't like you like that! Leave me alone!"

So C got up, walked over, and pushed Z and his desk right over.

Today in Class

2010-09-09T19:11:00.001-05:00

"Mrs. Jensen! You're almost as nice as my mom....and she's really mean."

And while grading papers: 21-1=2

The 1 just falls off, people.

Free to good home

2010-07-09T09:23:00.003-05:00

I wanted to try this technique, called cathedral windows, so I made this pillow.

It turned out slightly poopy, and doesn't match anything in my house. I covered the most poopy parts with buttons.

Anybody want it? You can have it for free! (Without the pillow form)

We went

2010-05-29T23:27:00.000-05:00

to New York City. A long time ago. I put the rest of the pictures on my facebook because I'm too lazy to blog them.
It's the end of the school year, I'm tired.

Special Request

2010-04-18T22:18:00.001-05:00

I've had a call for more stories. Nothing exciting has happened the last couple of weeks--the kids and I are tolerating each other until TAKS review is over. So this is from last year.

A, a male student, asks to go to bathroom.

Me: Ok

A: Can G (another male) come with me?

Me: No

A: Why not?

Me: Because you're a big boy

A: MRS. JENSEN!! IT'S NOT GONNA SHAKE ITSELF!!

Torpedoes

2010-03-11T21:43:00.003-06:00

Last week, I had the pleasure of giving the TAKS test. During a break from my 6 HOURS of staring at children (that your tax dollars pay for, by the way. Thanks.) I went to Chipotle for some lunch. I saw a former student, who is currently taking calculus at the high school, at Chipotle with his mother.

Me: Hey, P.

P: Hey, Mrs. J. This is my mom.

Me: Nice to meet you. So, P, how is calculus going?

P: Mr J. has torpedoes for nipples!! And he says a lot of things that can be taken sexually. Like one time, he told us we had to really straddle the problem and tweak it a little bit.

Me: silence

P's mom: Well, it was certainly nice to meet you. P really enjoyed PreCal last year.

Perceptions

2010-02-14T18:20:00.000-06:00

I have an ESL Algebra I class, which means I teach math and try to improve English skills at the same time. Every day they get a warm-up to start with. Here's an example of one I gave:

Remember, these kids don't know English. Don't judge.

Well, a student in PreCalculus came in and saw the warm up on the board, so he thought he would participate:

Ah, the calculator watch makes another appearance...

Sunday Sewing

2010-02-03T21:03:00.000-06:00

One of my finer teaching moments

2010-02-03T21:00:00.000-06:00

immortalized forever.

Seriously People

2010-01-30T22:44:00.002-06:00

Dear Parents--

If you are having an issue with something your child's teacher is or is not doing, it's best to let them know as soon as possible. Or if there are special circumstances, let's inform the teacher at meet the teacher night. For instance, if your child has a hearing impairment and needs to be seated in the front at all times, let's not wait until JANUARY 29TH to call the teacher. And yell at her. Because her son isn't making good grades. Because he can't hear. Because he's not in the front row. Because the teacher didn't know it was an issue.

Desktop

2010-01-29T16:31:00.004-06:00

M comes in a couple times a week now to draw a picture in paint and save it as my background. Here's two of the best so far...

Saturday

2010-01-24T10:10:00.000-06:00

I was wondering

2010-01-23T17:31:00.004-06:00

if a girl, age 8, with dark hair, thought this was ugly. I'm undecided. But her opinion really counts. The fabric was a lot cuter sitting in a pile together before I cut it and sewed it together.

26

2010-01-23T17:29:00.001-06:00

is about to be my new age. Good thing I got asked if I was selling girl scout cookies today or I might think I was getting old.

Hair

2010-01-15T22:02:00.001-06:00

Erin: "Mrs. J, did you get your hair cut?"
Me: "Yeah, yesterday. What do you think?"
Isaiah: "Oh, I just thought you fixed it today."

Hell on Earth

2010-01-13T20:01:00.002-06:00

Until you've sat through a professional development meeting at a school, you haven't experienced the 7th circle of hell. From today:

*In a gradeschool teacher voice. This lady taught 2nd grade* "I would like to give you some strategies for note-taking now that you can take back to your classrooms. I have used these strategies, and I really think they are of great value. The first is...

writing with a pencil."

Seriously. Had to hear about that one for 15 minutes.

In other news, I totally saved a life today! A kid during first period all the sudden was on the ground making crazy "I'm in pain save me" noises. I ran to get the nurse! She called another nurse! And they called 911! So he went to the hospital and had his appendix out.

Announcements

2010-01-06T16:16:00.001-06:00

This actually happened today. I was a little uncomfortable!

Our principal likes to add his own little announcements every day after the student body president does the pledge and all the boring stuff. Sometimes it's a little story, sometimes a reminder about something, sometimes trash talking another school that Georgetown's about to paly, whatever. But, today, it was racy!

Today was the second day back from school, and Mr. T gets on the announcements to remind everyone about dress code and electronics.

"Remember, ipods, cell phones, and other electronics are not allowed. I know all of you like to have something electronic in every orifice, it seems, but let's try to keep those at home."

I almost died.

Excerpts From and Email

2009-12-06T20:51:00.003-06:00

Dear Readers--

If you now behave or plan to behave like this parent, then we can no longer be friends.

I have a student, C. Since the beginning of the year, he's been too cool to be quiet in class and listen. He was absent for a few days, and for those homeworks I put a zero in the gradebook (accesible online for parents) until he turned them in. Shocker, I know. Well, turns out I never got papers from C. C's parents INSISTED that he did them and turned them in--I must have lost them or pretended to not get them "because of the sports conflict" (apparently since C and his buddies in class all play football, and I ask them to all be quiet, I hate football players. Who knew?). I told her in my sweetest teacher voice that if he could find the papers, he would get credit.

Well guess who couldn't find his papers. You wanna know what the parents said then? "Mrs. Jensen, a month is a long time to expect a 16 year old to hang on to a paper." That's why we keep binders, lady. And can we talk about why you haven't addressed these papers for a month?

Well, then I get an explanation of why his grades are important--to be eligible for sports!! You need to get the exact quote:
"Athletics are extremely important to C, as he is exremely talented. It is not a past-time, it is a talent! And now we have a son who is stressed out about the possibility of being ineligible." (MAYBE he is going to be ineligible because of that 53 he made on a test, not 3 homework papers. Tests count for 75% of the average.)

Anyway. So, then C misses the day of the next test, which was right before Thanksgiving Break. He had a mysterious patch of skin that had to be checked out by a doctor. "It could have been staff (this lady teaches language arts at one of the Georgetown elementary schools!) infection, Mrs. Jensen. Therefore, you see why C had to miss this test."

Well, since he wasn't there for the test, he didn't turn in his review with the rest of the class. So, when I graded the class's reviews, he got a zero. (What???? I am totally the worst teacher ever!!) So I get another email. This time from dad because mom is "too upset to deal with you".

Apparently, dad talked to an administrator about my grading policies (reminder--it was giving 0's for work not turned in), and he just wanted to offer some friendly advice about what else I could do instead of a zero. Maybe, I could "program a new code into the gradebook especially for absent students so that it doesn't show a zero and make everyone think that student isn't doing their work". Everyone is looking at my gradebook??!! What??!! He's "very disappointed that as a teacher I would just throw a zero in when I don't have a paper".

Here's the kicker--now, because of that new zero, C is "crushed. Disheartened. His wrestling coach said he lost all his practice matches yesterday. Please reconsider your unfair and biased treatment towards my son and all athletes."

Overheard Today...

2009-12-04T22:31:00.002-06:00

"Harry, I'm going to Sonic, you want anything?"

"I want a mocha java chiller... and I'm NOT GAY for ordering that!!!!"

Tennis

2009-11-24T21:31:00.002-06:00

We just finished playing tennis. I hit Crys in the face once and I beat her playing left handed. (I promised I wouldn't put that as my facebook status so it's a blog post now)

Las Vegas Trip

2009-11-01T20:55:00.011-06:00

This post is not for the faint of heart! It's long, but our nieces and nephews are too cute to not post so much about them!

Truman and I went to Las Vegas last weekend so he could go to the U2 concert with his brother and their friend. I went to Las Vegas last weekend to avoid the responsibilities of my life and play with the kids.

When we got there, we immediately gave out bribes for affection. I made tutus for the girls:

Elora's was purple. She wasn't as enthralled as Annika, who barely took it off the whole time. The girls are also taking dance classes, and Annika was all about showing me her sweet moves

Don't you practice your ballet with a walking stick? Perfect left arm, stick in the right.

When there is no barre, you use what you got. Do you see the fierce determination in that face?

Nathaniel got a video game that he played a lot.

On Saturday, we went to a Halloween carnival thing at a park. The girls decorated a pumpkin, the boys stood around, and all the kids rode a fire truck. Liesel was a witch, and Elora and Annika were fairies. Just so you know, Annika is the queen fairy--so she's the queen of Elora.

Annika was too busy being a fairy to smile for the camera in her costume.

The boys did this a lot:

This is James being his regular cute self.

But, when I tried to hold him, he would immediately cry.

See that smudge in the picture? That's me trying to get James to come to me. That look on his face was pretty typical of his reaction to me. Maybe we should have brought him a present...

On Sunday I tried to get the kids to all sit together and take some good pictures. Of course, they were more into doing this:

That's the only way Elora would get with the other kids.

But, I did manage to get a few good pictures.

Doesn't Elora look 17 in this picture? She's a super model!

Nathaniel is so handsome! He's only about 3 inches shorter than me, and his feet are about 1 toe shorter...granted that's my toes we're talking about.

Thanks Ben and Marsie for everything! We had so much fun! I already miss the kids, the cinnamon rolls, and talking to Marsie the whole time. Can't wait until Christmas!

Spanish for Page

2009-10-29T21:23:00.002-05:00

is pagina (pa-hee-nah). My 8th period Algebra II class has taken a liking to speaking a lot of Spanish during class, which I'm ok with (they are not fluent Spanish speakers--they are all in Spanish 2 and butcher it pretty badly). Anyway, after writing page 240 #.... for some homework today, a kid wanted it changed to pagina. So, I did.

Well, then squirrely P quickly yelled, "Pagina! Ha!!" BUT--he pronounced the word by making it rhyme with a female body part.

I can't even look at it any more without thinking that pronunciation.

sometimes precal gets you down...

2009-10-02T18:01:00.003-05:00

Poor E had a bad testing experience this week. First, she had to tell me her true feelings.

Then some realizations about the future were made...

At least she's aware! And, I got a heart.

Finally, a little story for the last page. If not an engineer, maybe a budding author?

Age Appropriate

2009-09-27T18:54:00.002-05:00

I teach an Algebra I class for kids that don't speak English at all or very well. I have a kid, previously mentioned, from Brazil.

On Friday after his test he was working on some English homework. He was given 4 ages and had to write a sentence about what happened to him at those ages. I walked by and saw for age 15: "Was the first time I get drunk at party."

I explained the drinking age in America and that he would probably get in trouble for that statement. P erased and started again.

The next time I look over I see: "Was the first time I smoke ever."

Again with the laws.

Finally, for age 15: "I do nothing at 15 that I can talk about in USA."

Then I helped P send a text to a girl and ask her to homecoming. I'm such an influence!

Hmmm

2009-09-27T18:53:00.002-05:00

Anyone else hear "porn star" when the COIN star commercial comes on?

19 Pounds

2009-09-26T13:05:00.002-05:00

There was a 19 lb. baby born in Indonesia last week, and I was reminded of this photo of my two nieces--

Who tears!

2009-09-15T17:33:00.004-05:00

You're supposed to read that like tears the paper.

In my ELL (English Language Learner--they are all kids that have lived in the country for less than one year and don't speak English well) class, there is a Brazilian! P is from Rio and he's really sweet. Today I hear him say "Who tears! Who tears!" to another kid, A. P's not getting his point across, so he asks to show a picture on his phone.

A looks at the picture and says "Oh!!" Then A makes the tune in Tokyo motion in his chest area.

P had eaten at Hooters last night!

Chewy

2009-09-09T07:14:00.001-05:00

Yesterday in my class full of sophomores the kids were working on some stuff in partners. I looked up and saw two boys comparing armpit hair.

C then said to R, "Yours looks like Chewbacca crawled in there and died!"

Boys are gross.

I am really liking

2009-08-16T17:04:00.004-05:00

freezer paper stenciling. Has anyone else tried it? I made these two shirts. I'm excited because
1) the pink one is so very nerdy. My kids will love it!
2) they are both t-shirts, but embellished, so I can get away with wearing them to work even if it's not a Friday.

You should all try it.

Summer

2009-08-11T19:17:00.004-05:00

So this summer my main accomplishment was painting the living room/entryway of our house from nasty skin tone to pure earth. Looks a little dark in the photo, but I love it. Then I needed this new flower and some new pillows for the living room.

I also finished my second summer of my master's program, so only one more to go. Then, I went to Mexico! That trip warrants its own post, though.

So, as my freedom is being stripped from me on Thursday, I want to ask you out there: What do your kids say they wish their teachers did better/different at school? Particularly for math and science teachers. Or what do you wish your own teachers would have done? I'm curious.

And, PS, things like giving homework, giving tests, and being wonderful are things I can't change--so don't say that.

Scorpions part 2 or is it part 3 or 4

2009-07-23T07:09:00.002-05:00

Anyway I dried off with a scorpion on my towel again this morning. This time I wasn't quite as lucky and now have a fun 4" red spot on my stomach. I would post pictures but no one wants to see my "non beer" beer gut.

Can I just say something real quick?

2009-07-17T15:56:00.001-05:00

And the whole class said, "No!"
The teacher kept on going with the lecture...

I couldn't get a good picture of William today, so sorry guys. But, this was the entertainment for the day in class. Then, my dreams came true, and we got separated into two groups. My group did not include Billy but DID include Allison--the one I got separated from a couple weeks ago. Hallelujiah!

Annoyed

2009-07-07T09:07:00.001-05:00

I'm annoyed that my high school has enough money to hire a new principal (that makes 6 for 1800 kids), but "not enough resources" to replace a math teacher that quit and a science teacher that quit. That means that I will have 30+ kids in each of my classes. Fun times.

I miss

2009-06-06T20:41:00.002-05:00

my teenagers!

I know, it's weird. I love them though! I love talking to them.

I'm so glad for the summer because I don't have to get anything ready, wear uncomfortable shoes, deal with crazy parents or crazy administrators. But, I did realize what I am going to miss the absolute most this summer--

Who's gonna talk with me about all my stupid teenager shows? Paris Hilton's BFF? The Gossip Girl finale? Being giddy about NYC Prep after seeing that preview show? Ah!

Thank goodness I have Nicole for Bachelorette.

Shout Out

2009-04-17T07:36:00.001-05:00

To my favorite kids from Manor High School, who have just found this blog. How did they do it? Why were they googling me 3 years after the fact?
Baw-head!

Spring Break

2009-04-12T20:41:00.006-05:00

Truman got to go to Las Vegas during Spring break...

James and Uncle TJay

Elora playing with an umbrella.

Beautiful Annika was always willing to take a picture.

Then everyone went to Utah for TJay's Grandma's 80th birthday.

Liesel and Elora getting candy at Grandpa Jensen's house.

TJay asked if he could have a piece.

Grandma Ashdown at her birthday party.

Nathaniel jumping.

Nate's so handsome!

Stella's still not sure if she likes TJay.

Liesel and Grandpa Jensen making s'mores.

It snowed the last couple days everyone was in Utah, and Nate made a snowman in the backyard.

I did school work and went to the new JoAnn's too many times to count while TJay was gone.

This past week also I got picked by one of my students to be his faculty friend at a baseball game.

Pay it Forward

2009-03-15T20:43:00.003-05:00

I need a goal with my sewing and general craftiness, so I'm doing this too!

So, here's how this game works-the first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive, at some point during the year, a handmade gift from me (I can customize if you like). What it will be and when it will arrive is a total surprise, unless you have something in mind)! The catch is that you must participate as well. Before you leave your comment, write up a pay it forward post on your blog to keep the fun going (or be lazy and copy and paste like I did). Then come back, let me know you're going to play and sit back and anticipate the arrival of your gift.

Only 10 more weeks of school!!

Oh, the Bachelor

2009-03-03T22:29:00.001-06:00

So, I have this kid at school, and we'll call him J.
J is in football, he is in powerlifting, he has long, unkempt hair.
J came into class today, and the first thing he said to me was,
"Oh my gosh, Mrs. Jensen, did you SEE after the final rose? Can you believe he did that? Good call on DeAnna, though. We were right about her."

Moments like this make my job so worthwhile.

I'm Jealous...

2009-01-18T12:06:00.003-06:00

Of my good friends Brian and Janine, who are in Spain with their cute cute baby girl, Cora. These are the same ones that took their cute cute baby girl Cora to Mexico this summer and let me stay with them for a week. I wish I would have saved up for a plane ticket!

New Bronco?

2008-12-31T09:08:00.002-06:00

I REPEAT!!!

2008-12-21T15:45:00.002-06:00

It is ok to not want to eat something.

Really.

It is ok to know what you do and do not like to eat. Please don't take it personally. Please don't get mad. Just let me eat in peace.

No, I do not want to try it. Not even a little piece. No.

No, I still don't like that. No, I have never liked that.

People, please let others eat what they want. It's the holidays.

Robin Sparkles

2008-12-19T21:55:00.001-06:00

Crystal here.

My flight to Amarillo was supposed to leave at 7:05 tonight, but got delayed until 11. What to do for 4 hours in a boring airport? Watch Robin Sparkles rock my body until Canada Day, of course!

Add a chair that swivels to my Christmas list.

2008-11-04T21:02:00.001-06:00

Let the mourning/groaning begin, Proverbs 29:2...

Reason to vote

2008-10-11T20:12:00.006-05:00

With all of the political discussions and debates, I think the majority of Americans have forgotten one of the most important reasons to vote, SNL. Think about it, would you rather spend the next four years having SNL make fun of Obama or Palin.

I think the answer is quite obvious. Vote McCain/Palin!

Quirks

2008-10-10T18:48:00.002-05:00

So, I have also fallen prey to Nicole's demand for 5 quirks about me to be posted for all the world to see. I hope my students don't find this.

1. If you know me, you know that I have serious food issues. If it looks gross, smells gross, sounds gross (meatloaf--disgusting!), or I just don't feel like it, then I refuse to eat it. RE-fuse. I think I have hurt some feelings in the past. But, really--it's not your cooking. It's not because I think you might have made something gross. I just don't want to. Now, some might feel the urge to call me immature or tell me to "grow up"--but, really, what is more mature than knowing exactly what you will and will not do and sticking to those standards?

2. I hate it when the air conditioner blows directly on my face. I would rather be too hot than have it blow on my face.

3. I have a very specific place for my pillow. I have a huge pillow, and I like to sleep on my side. My pillow has to wrap around me and touch my back while I am sleeping. If it gets moved during the night, I wake up to move it back.

4. Ummm...I hate answering my phone. Even if I like you or are related to you, I just hate phones. I don't like talking on them at all. That's why I never answer and rarely call you back.

There is nothing else strange about me that I can think of. And don't leave a comment if you think of something embarrassing.

Have we all gone mad?

2008-10-03T10:16:00.004-05:00

So I was in HEB (a grocery store for you non-Texans) and I saw this!

Now I know he is a presidential candidate and could possibly bring Armageddon down on us all. But isn't a children's book a little much? I mean what the hell has he done to deserve a book to be written about him, let alone an illustrated book meant to brainwash and destroy our posterity!

Please somebody, anybody tell me one thing he has done, other than be endorsed by the devil (Oprah) and win the Democratic nomination, which is worthy of a children's book?

Tales from the Crypt now filmed in Oakland

2008-10-01T16:56:00.002-05:00

Caution this video contains at least one corpse, not approved for the weak of heart

Seriously though, does anyone actually believe Kiffin was in the wrong? Not that I care too much the longer Davis reaches out from the grave the longer the Broncos will be able to continue to dominate the Raiders.

In other Bronco/Raider news, Elway recently married an Ex-Raider cheerleader! Feels like he might have been searching for one last attempt to stick it to the Raiders. :)

First Sighting

2008-09-25T21:14:00.003-05:00

Well, we made it 5 weeks into the school year.

There has officially been a weiner sighting.

Private blogs grrrr

2008-09-11T21:24:00.003-05:00

I hate private blogs.

They require entirely too much energy for me since I can't read them in Google reader. It's also really annoying when I know someone is linking to my blog on their blog but I haven't even been invited to read their blog! And don't even know who they are...

So if you have a private blog and want me to read it, send me an invitation or better yet, make your blog public so I will actually read it. :)

Quote of the week

2008-09-09T23:33:00.001-05:00

"We played 1-on-1 football with them. We didn't outscheme them," Cutler replied. "Eddie Royal beat DeAngelo Hall time after time after time. That's what happened."

I'm so glad Oakland spent all that money on Hall!

2008-09-04T17:23:00.002-05:00

Even though he's my boy, I can't not share this pic.

Reason for the Mcdonalds bag and reason for billboard in general

The league lowered his suspension to 1 game so hopefully he has matured and will be able to destroy the chargers in week 2 and the Saints or Cowboys in the Super bowl.

Can you tell I'm excited about football?

2008-08-31T08:30:00.001-05:00

here's a great little video of an interception from last week's game.

It's called pinball wizard...

Broncos Video

Enjoy

2008-08-30T22:15:00.002-05:00

FF Roster

2008-08-30T18:05:00.004-05:00

Round Pick Player    Position
1        11 Maurice Jones-Drew    RB
2        2 Clinton Portis    RB
3        11 Michael Turner    RB
4        2 Santonio Holmes    WR
5        11 Greg Jennings    WR
6        2 Laurence Maroney    RB
7        11 Dallas Clark    TE
8        2 Felix Jones    RB
9        11 Chris Perry    RB
10       2 Nate Burleson    WR
11       11 Kevin Walter    WR
12       2 Sidney Rice    WR
13       11 Kurt Warner    QB
14       2 Robert Meachem    WR
15       11 Jeff Garcia    QB
16       2 Matt Leinart    QB
17       11 Philadelphia PHI    DST
18       2 Matt Prater    K

There were a couple of players I was targeting that got snaked from me, including Cutler, S. Young, Royal, Marshall, Hall, Stokley and Scheffler. But for the most part I think I got a decent team. I do think I waited just a little too long to pick my QB. Though I think Warner/Leinart will be good if one of them can actually hold the starting job.

What do you all think?

Who should my starting RB's be this week?

My Blog List

2008-08-28T16:56:00.001-05:00

Blogger just added a new widget called my blog list. Its not as nice as reader but does about the same things, since it tells you when the last time the blog updated was.

So now I'm asking you if you read my blog and your name is on the blog list, check to see when was the last time you updated. I see quite a few that are over a week and some haven't been updated in months!!!

shame on you :)

again

2008-08-26T13:00:00.001-05:00

Shaved my head again. I think I'm going to make a time delay movie of my hair growing. I know you all are so excited to watch hair grow!

I'll post it in a month or two when its complete.

Monroe, LA

2008-08-24T21:28:00.002-05:00

Five years ago about 100 people where I work moved from Monroe to Austin. Our company was consolidating and closing that office. I quickly became friends with quite a few of them as they introduced me to Fantasy Football among other things. So for the last five years I've heard many stories and tales of the great city of Monroe. Well I finally had a chance to go visit this past weekend...

I'm not sure where to begin, so I'll talk a little about Monroe and a little about LA. Monroe is a small city that could have been a pretty nice city but slowly has become run down and pretty trashy. I saw a total of 4 garages as most homes have carports. I live in TX so I've seen my fair share of Rednecks, lawn decorations and cars on cinder blocks but Monroe simply put us to shame. (not in a good way) There was also just a sense of racial tension everywhere you went. I've never really experienced this, the majority of my childhood was in UT and AZ and they have very few African Americans and the large suburbs of Austin and Dallas don't have much racial tension either. But in Monroe you could just feel that there were years of hatred on both sides and neither side was about to act Christian and make amends. It really was quite sad.

LA was settled by the French and like all things French, it is about as screwed up as it can possibly be!!!!! First they want you to know that you are in their state. In Texas and the other states I've lived in we like to put a sign up saying welcome you are now entering a new state. In LA they decided to one up us, they designed all of their roads to be extremely noisy and bumpy to let us know for sure that we were no longer in TX. Then the decide to give everything names that no sane person can or should pronounce. And they even have a different legal system then the rest of the US. Having been there twice now I can safely say that as bad as the federal government screwed up Katrina (and it was bad) I have no doubt that the majority of the blame is on the French settling the state.

Now having ranted a bit, the trip was actually quite fun, I got to eat some pretty good food, participate in a fantasy football draft, and play 36 holes. Now the golf was nothing like TX. First I used to think playing golf in TX was like playing in hell. Well I was grossly mistaken. LA makes TX feel like Alaska! And the fairway grass was about 8 inches tall (I lost many balls in the fairway), the mosquitoes were as big as birds (donated atleast 2 pints of blood), the gnats were not very tasty (I only ate about 3 or 4 thousand as we were driving in the cart), the course was extremely wet and muddy and the water was very stagnant and smelled worse then a sewer. But it was golf and I enjoyed myself anyway.

Well that was my weekend...when/if I go back next year I'll be a little more prepared and will probably enjoy it even more.

Associate Principal

2008-08-21T16:18:00.002-05:00

So, we have an associate principal. He was hired about a week ago. He's not a good public speaker. He was giving a presentation on Tuesday, and he would put a power point slide up, be totally silent for a few minutes, then say, "Next slide". Boring! That afternoon, we had another great presentation. We were allowed to ask questions this time. There were at least 22 questions asked (my friend and I started counting after a few of them), and he could not answer any of them. ZERO. Didn't know any of the answers.

The best part of the afternoon was finding all the errors on the presentation. The funniest one was:

"If a student is endanger of failing a class..."

This guy has a degree, right?

Poor Coaches

2008-08-21T16:16:00.001-05:00

So, the coaches found out their coaching schedule today. They soon realized that they had been scheduled to teach World History and coach basketball during the same periods. We have high expectations at my school. So, the entire social studies department had to be totally re-scheduled. Rooms are decorated, copies are made, and people are now having to prepare for classes they haven't taught in years, or ever. School starts on Monday! I don't know if the kids will be as entertaining as our administration, but we'll see.

Inmates

2008-08-19T17:05:00.003-05:00

Remember that Superintendent I told you about? Well, she kindly informed the math, science, English, and history coordinators for the district that their jobs were being phased out. They would be required to teach 3 classes at the high school and coordinate half time, and next year they would have to teach full time or find other employment. This wouldn't be so bad, except that she gave them this news last Thursday. A little too late to find another job! To make it even worse for the math coordinator, the classes that she got stuck with are Algebra I Co-Teach, Math Models, and ACCELL Geometry. That's right, three totally different classes. On two different days. To top it off, these are full of what I would fondly call inmates. It's going to be a rough year.

School Drama

2008-08-19T07:28:00.003-05:00

Hey, Crystal here. T Jay usually posts, but the school fun began yesterday, and I know I promised you all out there stories. Only the teachers are at school right now, and yesterday we had our convocation. All the schools get together, and it's supposed to be a peppy, teachers are so great and wonderful and you can do it! kind of time.
Our new superintendent was our speaker. She came aboard last year, in the middle of the year, and has not been making friends. Last year, a certain science teacher did not get a paper turned in to the AP board on time, so she canned him. He finished out the last couple of weeks of school, and what do you know, he's the teacher of the year!
Well, yesterday during convocation, all the teachers of the year from all the schools were being announced...only who was missing? That's right, the GHS teacher of the year. Ummm... the high school teachers actually booed. It was kind of funny. I was sure we were going to get lectured.
Thank goodness we didn't. Well, then she goes on to bore us with talk of the TAKS test and how we didn't do well enough, and now we're going to be under a microscope to make sure that we don't let those kids down! Then, a video was shown for a program that gives grants to teachers for classroom supplies. In it, the old superintendent was being interviewed, and the entire auditorium cheered for him. Not just the first time he came on. Every time. Perfect ending, don't you think?

I'm a G33K and I like Bawls

2008-08-11T10:21:00.002-05:00

So Crys and I went to Houston for 4 very good reasons.

1. See the Denver Broncos play. I can't tell you how excited I am that the football season is here!!! I'm going to LA for a FF draft in 2 weeks and then have another here in Austin the week after.

The Broncos lost the game but it was still fun to see and I don't mind losing in preseason nor to the Broncos part 2. Cutler looked good. Marshall is a beast. Young did pretty good, Crystal kept asking me Selvin Young sounds familiar why do I know his name, I must have told her 5 times that he played college ball at UT.

2. Stop by MicroCenter and buy Bawl's new root beer called G33K B33R

While its not the best root beer I've ever had it was pretty dang good and the fact that it has Caffeine and Guarana is a definite plus. I know a lot of purists will say root beer shouldn't be caffeinated but sometimes I need a pick me up and instead of reaching for a Red Bull or Coke, why not reach for a root beer?

BTW I have been drinking Bawls Guarana since '97 and '98 and its a very good soda, though it is NOT the same as the Guarana sodas in Brazil. My favorite from Brazil is Kuat, Guarana Jesus and Antartica, though the only kind I can find here recently is Antartica. 7-11 used to carry Kuat in a fountain drink but stopped for some reason. (I might have been the only one drinking it) Back to the list of reasons

3. See my cousin Karla, she's my Aunt Sherri's oldest daughter, I haven't seen her in 12 years but they just moved to TX so we had to go see her. Her husband is a doctor and they have a super cute son who is almost 2. We BBQ'd at her house and had a lot of fun.

4. See Shaunna and her family. Its nice to see Emmerson without Grandpa being around because I am then her favorite. (No one compares to Grandpa) Camden is as cute and fat as ever. I think she might be my favorite so far cause she is dang lazy, she just sits there and smiles, she's even too lazy to cry! I love it.

Crazy women and vampires!

2008-08-02T00:45:00.006-05:00

So um I got suckered into going with Crystal and Nicole to Walmart to pick up the new book by Stephanie Meyer at midnight of course the good news is that we only waited 10 minutes and the book was only $13. Here are some pics of the event.

One of Crystal's students was there, so I had to get a picture of the three of them and their books.

I only had my phone so the pictures aren't great but if you look closely Crystal and Nicole were by far the oldest people in line. And I was the only person with testosterone in the line...

Can't you just feel the tension and excitement?

Walmart even gave us free stickers, punch and cake. Take that fans who waited at 9am at Barnes and Noble!!

100% Pain and Fire House Subs

2008-07-26T17:40:00.003-05:00

Crystal and I went to FireHouse subs for the first time. Its a pretty good sub shop, that was started by fire fighters. They have a huge counter of hot sauces for you to put on your sub sandwich.

I tried one that claimed to be the hottest it is called 100% Pain it was pretty dang good and had a nice kick. While not hot enough to be inedible it did have one strange side effect...

Obama vs Moses

2008-07-26T10:23:00.002-05:00

So my brother sent me some interesting articles on Obama, and I thought them worthy enough to share.

The Candidate As Cult Leader
by Michael Medved

and

The Audacity of Vanity by Charles Krauthammer

Media Hype, Batman and Politics

2008-07-22T13:14:00.002-05:00

So Batman Begins is one of my favorite comic book based movies, I personally even believe it was better then Tim Burton’s Batman. I loved how dark it was and think Christian Bale did an awesome job as he always does, remember the “Newsies” and “Swingkids” and don’t even get me started on “American Psycho”. Anyway I was pretty dang excited about the new Batman movie. And unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably been hearing all the hoopla about “Batman: the Dark Knight” since Heath Ledger’s untimely death. You’ve probably heard about how great Heath Ledger is and how he deserves an Oscar. Heck you’ve probably already been to the theater and watched it yourself; after all the movie grossed $158.3 million dollars.

Well the media has been deceiving you and you probably don’t even realize it or didn’t realize it. (for those of you who haven’t seen it and plan to stop reading now, for those of you who saw it take five minutes and ponder about the movie think really hard about all the scenes and the plot twists and stuff)

Ok so now you have refreshed your memory, you’re probably a little disappointed in the experience, aren’t you? You can admit it, don’t be ashamed. I’m not saying the movie wasn’t fun and enjoyable, I’m just saying it wasn’t done right and wasn’t that great. Of course it could be worse, Mr. Freeze…

So let’s dissect the movie. First off it was not a Batman movie, but a movie about the Joker. Now I’m not sure if the director re-edited the movie after Ledger’s death to make him more prominent or not but the movie was definitely about the Joker and not Batman. It was almost like Bale wasn’t even in this movie, except for a couple of small scenes as Bruce Wayne and some really annoying whispering (and I mean really annoying, Crystal turned to me at least 5 times complaining about it, which ironically was also really annoying whispering) the role of Batman could have been perfectly played by a stunt double. Now the media is raving about Ledger’s performance and it was good, but was it really Jack Nicholson good? Besides crazy is one of the easiest things to play (ask Crystal I play it all the time) I mean all Heath really had to do is not shower for a few days, where a purple suit some funky makeup and smile really creepily. Not really that difficult. Besides how good could his performance really have been when the scariest part of the movie was Maggie Gyllenhaal? I mean I’m not a huge Katie Holmes fan but she was a much better Rachel Dawes, it is totally unbelievable that Bruce Wayne would be constantly with at least 4 gorgeous supermodels constantly and still be hung up on Maggie Gyllenhaal; that just doesn’t happen! Now to her credit, her face wasn’t the only thing bad about her role; her wardrobe designer chose some pretty awful outfits that looked downright frumpy.

Alright back to the movie, there was not very much originality in there. Everything: the bank robbery, the cruise boats almost exploding, the car chases, the Joker lying about Harvey and Rachel’s location, the prison escape, the hostages dressed as the robbers; it’s all old hat. Not only were the scenes unoriginal they were entirely too long and drawn out, I mean I just about died during the ferry scene, from old age! Not to mention Morgan Freeman’s boring big brother rant and the incredibly predictable destruction of the sonar computer at the end. Plus the movie had two endings, one where it should have ended and then the other 30 minutes later, completely ruining the movie and a chance to do more with Two-Face.
This is how the movie should have ended. Two-Face has Officer Rodriguez call Gordon’s family. Batman captures the Joker and the Joker tells him about corrupting Two-Face. Gordon calls Batman and tells him his family is missing. At this point the main conflict of the movie, the Joker, has been captured and you have a cool cliff hanger and another good character to make a third movie. Instead Batman goes and kills Two-Face in 30 long drawn out minutes, gets blamed for being a bad guy (which I also thought was pretty lame) and the cops chase him into the night. What a waste of a character and instead of adding to the movie it detracted from it.
Another thing I couldn’t stand about the movie was the freaking audience! They had been so manipulated by the media they couldn’t help but clap 4 or 5 times during the film. It’s a film people, nobody in the film can hear you clapping.

So all that being said, I did enjoy the movie, I just wish someone would have asked me, a professional movie and TV watcher since I was born, how to make the movie. It would have been better. I think Aaron Eckhart was fabulous and really should have been cast to do Two-Face in the next movie. (BTW if you haven’t seen “Thank you for smoking” you should) I loved the disappearing pencil trick, the sonar cell phone\bat eyes and the sky hook extraction.

Now that I’ve been complaining about the media hype of the movie and how it didn’t really deserve it, I have to point out another place where media hype is killing me and that is politics. The American people bought into the media attention on McCain and Obama and it disgusts me. I mean the only candidates that I think would be worse for the country would be Huckabee on the republican side and maybe Hillary for the democrats though I’m not sure she would be worse, since we know she is completely self centered and therefore fairly predictable on how to manipulate her into at least not bringing on the Armageddon. Obama is completely unqualified to even be in politics and yet he has a 50/50 chance to be president in 5 months. McCain is no better. To paraphrase Tom Delay, McCain has no redeeming values. Now this statement would be 100% true if it was about Mr. Delay, but it’s about McCain so its only 99% true. I can think of two redeeming qualities of McCain.

1. He is not Obama
2. He is not the Antichrist (and yes I am referring to Oprah)

Any who I sure wish we could call a do over and hold the primaries again, maybe we could actually look at the content and quality of the candidates and make better choices on both sides.

Here’s hoping Batman 3 isn’t as screwed up as the Dark Knight and that whoever is elected President doesn’t get us all killed or do anything else equally as stupid.

Oh and if you want to see a good movie this summer, do yourself a favor and see Iron Man, it is by far the best blockbuster of the year and Hell Boy 2 was a close second.

Do yourselves a favor and see both of them in the theater.

High Adventure '97

2008-07-09T07:09:00.002-05:00

I was cleaning out some of my stuff at my parents house and ran across this picture.

Notice that Bryan Van Every hasn't changed at all in 11 years!!

Chuck E. Cheese

2008-07-06T00:41:00.002-05:00

Great little video that will make you rethink taking your kids to Chuck E Cheese. :)

Allen 1st ward part deux

2008-06-30T13:18:00.001-05:00

Last week Katrina and Aaron Lawyer moved into the Old Settler’s ward. Katrina is the daughter of Bishop Dalton from the first ward.

That makes the number of former Allen First Ward members in Old Settlers now 4! Bryan Van Every, Jason Bell and I were also one time members of the good ole 1st ward.

So if anyone else from Allen wants to move, you know where you need to go! We might even let some 2nd or 3rd ward members join us. (Not so sure about the 4th, 5th and 6th wards though)

Smell of Death

2008-06-27T17:28:00.002-05:00

So have any of you smelled death?

I have

Crystal went grocery shopping yesterday and bought some ground beef. Unfortunately the cashier bagged the meat in a separate sack and when Crystal was unloading her car (I was at work, yes some of us work during the summer) she accidentally missed a small sack...

One hot Texas day later and I got to smell death. Of course I only had to smell it while looking for the culprit. Crystal had to smell it for 45 minutes driving from downtown Austin to home.

The meat is now in the garbage and the car had been defumed...But I will not quickly forget the stench of death!

Charity

2008-06-25T19:03:00.003-05:00

So a friend of mine just launched a new website that is designed to help charities.

The website is actually a game of trivia questions. Every time you get a question right the website donates money to a charity. The more you play the more they donate.

Give it a try its quite addictive and its for a good cause!

Stung

2008-06-22T10:14:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we went to Schlitterbahn water park. While waiting in line for the first ride I decided to rest my arm on the wooden side railing, Unfortunately the scorpion that happened to be resting there did not appreciate it and decided to sting me. We decided to stay at the park and try and have some fun but after about 4 hours, it started raining and the rides closed down. So we headed to pottery barn where we found a crib bumper for $10!!!

Anyway here is the bug bite a day later, the color has gone down a little bit, but it still hurts.

Mexico

2008-06-17T21:31:00.002-05:00

So, as soon as school was out, I needed to get out of the country and away from all memories of a few choice students. so, I went to Mexico! My friends Brian and Janine are living there for most of the summer, so I went to live with them in their apartment in Queretaro. They have a super cute 7 month old daughter, Cora, and I'm pretty sure she loves me. She was such a good baby!!! I never saw that baby lose it even though we dragged (drug?) her all around creation, on buses, in crazy taxis, and through all kinds of museums.

My Spanish improved greatly, thanks to having to order, ask for more limes, talk to the cab drivers, etc. I even got some chocolate all by myself on the way home. I had a blast!! Here's some pictures from my journey. I didn't really take these, but it's still the same.

This is the city of Guanajuato, which was my favorite of the 3 towns that I visited while I was in Mexico. It is built in a ravine, so the streets are tiny and twisting, and everything is built right on top of another. We had to climb lots of stairs and then continue up a steep hill to get to our hotel.

There is a silver mine in Guanajuato, and the silver barons, who were rich, built this church. Isn't this ridiculous? The craziest part is that there are two more panels just like this one on either side of this. All the churches in Mexico were really huge and elaborate, but this is the most detailed and extravagant that I saw.

Because of the way the city was set up, roads went through mountains in all these crazy tunnels to get around town. It was kind of scary to drive through them, but we made it.

This is a church in a city called San Miguel de Allende that we went to visit one of my first days in Mexico. It was a pretty little town, but my first day out in the heat all day was exhausting.

These pictures are of the city Queretaro, which was the city that Brian and Janine were living in and where we spent most of our time. The city was really pretty and had some fun museums to go to. Every morning we would go out and do something, come home when it was deathly hot outside to take a nap, and then go wander at night.

I really loved all the plazas in the city. At night everyone goes and hangs out in the plaza. There's music, you can always find some good food, and it's just nice to be outside.

I need to give a shout out to nieve de limon, my favorite treat in Mexico. It's like a lime snow cone, but so much better! I also had some fantastic gorditas and tacos while I was there. I miss the food already. One day for dinner I ate 8 tacos!! They were small... and it was only like $5 for all of them.

Thanks, Brian and Janine and Cora!! I miss you and appreciate everything!

Charlie Bit me part 1 and 2

2008-05-28T22:07:00.001-05:00

Lunchbox and Carlos, from the Bobby Bones Show, thought it would be funny to remake the video! So here is their version!

Os Reis de Sao Paulo Sul

2008-05-27T22:13:00.002-05:00

A friend sent me this, It doesn't seem that long ago...

Puzzles

2008-05-19T23:43:00.002-05:00

So I have a couple of puzzles I created posted on Tanga. If you get bored, head over there and try and solve them.

here is a link to my puzzles

Thursday I will have two more published. One in the morning and one at 9:00 pm Texas time.

Stimulus Smimulus

2008-05-19T16:28:00.002-05:00

So everyone I know has received their stimulus check except me!

I checked their website and it gave me a schedule (it was way past due for me) and then it said, "Please note, our phone representatives will not have more information about your payment than is shown on this website."

Kind of scary don't you think? Even scarier, if the wrong person is elected...these same people could be in charge of health care.

Blogging for Colette

2008-05-18T01:19:00.002-05:00

So my sister doesn't have a blog, which is a crime since she has a brand new super cute baby. Anyway I'm sharing a video of her baby Stella and might continue to share more until she creates her own blog :)

Happy Mother's Day!!

2008-05-11T22:19:00.001-05:00

This is a video of a child like we hope to have someday.

We finally got a piano!

2008-05-11T22:11:00.002-05:00

I'm so excited I can finally play the piano now. T.Jay is most excited about a volume button and a place to plug headphones in.

We LOVE Stella

2008-05-11T22:09:00.001-05:00

Wallet

2008-05-11T21:52:00.005-05:00

So I made this wallet tonight. Some (my angry students tomorrow) would say that I should have graded their PreCal tests. I looked at my school bag... Anyway, I like it. If you decide to make one, you should put some boning above the clasp, because it closes a little weird. I love the fabric, though!